Wednesday in Hellcamp: Session 2 Week 1

Wednesday was...indescribable agony.

Let me just say that I almost didnt go to hellcamp for the second session. The only reason, the only single one reason I retched my body from my couch was the scales.

I had weighed in earlier and after only one bootcamp session, I had lost 2.2kg.

2.2KG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats one of those giant tubs of ice cream (what is ice-cream, i forget that magical creation) and then some!

Most weeks recently I had been losing .7 or .5 or something similar so it's pretty hard to ignore the fact that bootcamp is actually working.

Tonight we met at a major park, known for its cross country tracks, and hilly terrains. (Plus I couldnt really avoid this session, it was actually across the road from my house. I considered turning off all the lights and being REALLY quiet so they thought I wasnt home, but that all seemed like just as much effort as actually attending would be.)

I arrive early and chat to the other girls, glad to hear I'm not the only one who pulled up sore. I had worn my highest heels to work that day, and cursed myself every minute: my calf muscles already ached, but the heels certainly did not help!

We began our session with a light run. I love how they say a light run.
There is nothing light about it! It's like saying bearable torture or some other ridiculous oxymoron.

We run uphill, across uneven ground. I run as far as I possibly can and power walk the rest. We have a new trainer waiting for us back at headquarters (bootcamp is truly taking over my vocabulary). She looked very young, barely 18 even. It was then I noticed the scowl on her heavily tanned face.
"Are we all giving everything?! She screeches, nodding towards me and raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. "All of us?!"

Once again I see she is looking at me and predict, quite accurately, that perhaps she and I were not going to be bosom buddies. From here on in, her name is Snotty Nosed Bitch. SBB if you prefer. Rolls off the tongue easier doesnt it?

SBB points far off in to the horizon. "2.2 km run ladies, off this way, START NOW!" She barks whilst doing an aboutface. "And if one stops, WE ALL STOP!"

I decided to strategically place myself at the front of the pack- that way if I fall behind, I still would be in the mix of things.

Don't get me wrong, it worked in theory. And for a while I was leading the run. However that didn't last long- The others were simply too fit for my chunky little body and overtook me rapidly.

I ran behind for as long as I could withstand it- and hello, 2.2km is alot people!

Inevitably I can't take the pace any longer and stop jogging. I do continue power walking, but would be lying if I said it didnt cross my mind to simply walk across the road and into the safety of my own front yard.

My strides were very long and fast, and I could see the group disappearing in the distance. I felt a bit emotional and a bit like the bootcamp loser making a fool of themselves, but shook this off with positive thoughts about how proud I was to be even making the effort.

SBB jogs towards me in the distance. She stops dead in front of me and flings her arms to her side. 'Is this the best you can do?' She spits at me, hands on hips.

I am so out of breath from the amount of work I am doing It takes me a good few minutes to even push out, 'Yes, it is.'

The look on her face was pure disgust, and I feel her looking me up and down and curling her upper lip into a scowl. Just as quick as she appeared, she turns on her heels and bounces away.

I imagine she leaves in a puff of smoke, off to some genie bottle for evil bitches.

WHAT.THE.FUCK.

I'm sorry, but I don't care how young or cute you are, no one makes me feel inferior for doing something out of my comfort zone like this.

The more I thought of it, the angrier I became.

How the fuck dare she? I was doing MY BEST. This may not be as quick or as impressive as the others in the group, but was still MY BEST.

And then the floodgates opened. It sounds ridiculous but with that one look of hers, she had managed to bring back flooding memories of PE, of feeling not quite good enough and being picked last for every team. Things I thought I was cool with, that werent big deals. I wasn't 15 anymore and this shouldnt have bothered me.

But it did. I sobbed my little heart out whilst i power walked. Sobbed from pure exhaustion, indignation and a healthy dose of spite. (maybe a smidge more, lol)

I noticed when the group ahead met Miss A, Miss A looked around for me and saw me in the distance. She ran up to me and noticed I was visibly upset. She began to enquire, but being the sissy girl I am just kind of brushed her off and joined the others for some pushups.

That night Ms A called me and apologised. She said that she had spoken to the other girls in the group and they had all said that the way she talked to me was not acceptable, and did not leave me feeling positive about bootcamp. (put mildly)

Whilst I was sobbing earlier I had vowed not to come to bootcamp again- I was not making effort to be treated like nothing and made cry. And not to mention paying!

But the way Ms A sounded truly sorry, and like she was very upset about it herself...softened me. I told Ms A she would see me for the next session on Friday. I could hear the smile on Ms A's voice. She lowered her voice and said that SNB would not be leading any more sessions, and Italian Stallion had agreed to do more work with us.

I was pleased- he is lovely and actually makes me want to work harder, to impress him or something.To make him know I was putting in everything I had. But SNB? Like I said earlier, I've been overweight all of my life. But that was the first time I have been looked at with pure disgust on the persons face like that.

It will stay with me forever.